Apology.

One of my friends posted 2 quotes to her status on facebook about “sorry” and asked people what they think. Most people seem to hate this word. They think it is such an empty one. Rather than saying it, just don’t do things you will be sorry for.

I think about it a bit differently.

Of course I don’t like it when people do something bad and they say sorry just to cover it up. Then it doesn’t mean anything but a lie. I really don’t want that.

However, in some cases, I just need a “sorry”. Because, sometimes, things happen. Or we end up hurting each other because of how different we are. Or we didn’t know and didn’t understand how wrong it was until somebody explains.

Then, a “sorry” will be hope. The hope of something new and better. Then depending on how much we value the person, we can put an end to a relationship, or move it forward.

But we need a “sorry” first. Honestly. Truthfully. Sincerely.

—-

Carrie: I got an e-mail from Big. “I don’t know what to say.”. Uu, then don’t send an e-mail.

Miranda: What were you expecting?

Carrie: And in the subject box, two words: “I’m sorry.”

Miranda: Ugh. Steve is all about the “I’m sorry.”. “I’m sorry” e-mails, “I’m sorry” voice mails, “I’m sorry” flowers, “I’m sorry” cards. How about, don’t do anything to be “I’m sorry” for?

Carrie: Well, maybe he’s sorry.

Miranda: Well, maybe so is Big.

– from Sex and the City the movie.

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2 thoughts on “Apology.

  1. Since I came to US, that word has become a real empty word for me. People say it with quite a straight face. There are times that one is sorry for real, depends on their facial expression and context of course. Otherwise, it’s just an expected word, people barely pay any attention when it comes out of their mouth.

    I’ve become a bit like mainstream too. Then sometimes someone will say “don’t be”, and I realized I never meant it in the first place.

    Anyway. It’s a bit different from your case, right?

    For me though, with a real relationship, friendship and such, when I say sorry, sometimes that means it can’t be helped anymore, I’ve tried all I could. So it’s the end rather than the beginning or hope.

    It really depends on who said it, when and how it’s said, right?

  2. Yeah, I think it’s different with me. I actually usually expect “sorry” from people I care about. Sometimes, I really need a “sorry” from them. It’s like, I don’t want to stop talking to and being friends with a person just because of something small (maybe he/she doesn’t even notice it), but it will still bug me until this person says “sorry”. I need a reason to move the relationship forward. I need to know this person values this relationship as much as I do, that we agree some certain actions won’t work in our relationship. I need that kind of respect. In this sense, for me, it should be the end of something, and also be the beginning of the same thing but better (or something like that..).

    So yes, it really depends. For some people, I wouldn’t even bother to explain why they should say sorry. If I get annoyed and can’t stand it, I may talk to that person, but I don’t expect any “sorry” at all. It doesn’t matter whether they say it or not, since they are already out of my mind.

    This is one of the things I will know immediately how I will react when it happens, but I’m not sure how to explain properly : D.

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