Na and I went out to take photos again today, along the lake behind Na’s place. The sun was shining and it was not cloudy, so it didn’t feel as cold as 10°C.
Apart from those photos, I figured out Long and Lam also took pictures of me when I was sleeping on the armchair in their living room. Much later on, Bang took a picture of me with Linh Vu’s phone without me knowing, despite the fact that I was looking straightly at it (I thought he was taking picture of Kieu Minh). I never got to see those photos, and I’m not sure if I want to.
We (Na, Long, Lam, Phat, Kieu Minh, Bang, Linh Vu, and I. Dean went to Helsinki, so he couldn’t join us) had dinner (Hanoi chicken vermicelli and some sort of grilled chicken which I didn’t know the name), then played cards. I didn’t play, but took care of picking up the cards for Lam. I also helped him drink beer when we lose (we were in the same team), just a little bit. He walked me home.
I have been reading Never Let Me Go. It has saddened me a lot. To find myself in bits by bits of the characters (especially Kath), however, is surprisingly comforting. I guess some people do feel things like that. I’m not alone. Recently, I have been craving for “not be alone” state way too much. It doesn’t necessarily do me any good. I just cannot stop myself.
The sadness, it cannot be solely from Never Let Me Go, can it? I fall into blue sometimes because of things that has nothing to do with me. It can be something happened somewhere in the world. It can be some stories I’ve heard from people around. It can be in the difference between people, how they act, what they expect, the way they pretend. I may forget, but the sadness stays…
“Find a heart that will love you at your worst, and arms that will hold you at your weakest”.*
“Keep a green tree in your heart, and perhaps a singing bird will come”.**
(*), (**): Anonymous.
This post is for the 1st of October. All the photos were taken by Na.