It’s not easy to be happy. However, I love myself enough to not let anyone who’s not worth it to ruin my happiness. I never want to store sadness or anger or any kind of negative feeling in me for long. Although my mood is still up and down often (not to mention that it often goes extreme with every emotions), I’m quite stable and enjoy my life now. Not yet to the point I could say “I cannot be happier than this”, but I have nothing to complain about.
I haven’t been writing as much as I want to. From now on, I will try to get back to track. Not only because it’s harder to write for several days in a row, but also because writing is my hobby. “Do what you love, and do it often” – I read something like this from tumblr. : )
On Tuesday, I watched Breaking Dawn part 1 in Cine Atlas. It was my first time watching a movie there, since I usually choose Plevna. Both cinemas have good facilities. The only thing I didn’t like in Cine Atlas was that there’s no place on the side of the chairs to put drinks to, which Plevna has. For the movie, I like it. I don’t care about what people say. I like it.
I met Huang Shen at the bus station. We took the same bus back to Valkeakoski. He asked me again and again about the fact that I went to the cinema alone, like he couldn’t believe it. It was funny. I forgot I also once thought it was something unusual – going to the cinema alone. Time passed by, and I got so used to it that I’m now surprised why people are amazed by that act. “I’m alone and I’m free” – I remember hana used to say this. I feel it now.
Huang Shen is still like before, and there’s something more to it. When I talked to him, like several times before, the feeling of “Things are easy. Life is easy. Don’t make a fuss about it. You see?” is always there. What was added was the feeling of him in control of his life, more than him going with whatever flows. That was nice. Although, I have to say, I miss him of 4,5 years ago.
On Thursday, I went to the center with Na and Lam. Na wanted to buy a Lumene mascara in Vapaa Valinta. We wanted to go on Wednesday, but Lam wanted to tag along for some reason, so we made it to Thursday. On the way, he joked about going to big K-market without considering consequences. As a result, we went there also. We had lunch in Deniss, then passed by Jysk. From here, I bought a clothes rail metal adjustable. I wanted to buy a sound asleep pillow like this one since I have trouble getting to sleep and sometimes I hear weird noises from the wall behind my back, but I didn’t spend money on it. I tell myself about how many things I want to buy and how easy it was before I know they exist.
On Friday, after a very long time, I went to TUT in Hervanta again. We were 5: Antti, Dean, Dung Dinh, Phuc (Phat’s friend from HAMK in Hämeenlinna), and I. Originally, Phat was going as well, but he got some sort of allergic reaction on Thursday night so Lam took him to the hospital for a check-up. Dean paid lunch (chicken wings) for Antti and me because we helped him with the video clip with which he won the first prize in VSAF’s Got Talent contest. He also paid for coffee for all of us afterwards. Phuc didn’t take it though. He seemed to be a shy guy.
We then headed to Tampere center. I went to the police station to pick up my visa. There’s no point in having all of them wait for me, so they went to some other places first and I caught up later. Thanks to Dean who didn’t inform me when they left from one place to another, after leaving the police station, I went all the way to Vietnamese store without even getting into it, and went back to Kauppahalli without even seeing anything there, then finally met them outside Kappahalli and continued walking to Stockmann. We tried lots of perfumes here. We tried making drinks with the Dolce Gusto machine, too (I saw Doina making drinks with it already, but it was the first time I made it myself). Enough with all the stairs up, we went downstairs to the supermarket. Asian shop in Tullintori was next. I got some discounts here, so I was pretty happy and satisfied. Antti’s car was parked near Finlayson, we walked back there.
The next destination was Idea Park. I was already tired and hungry at that time. Therefore, I remember I told them once in a while “Can we make this real quick? I’m hungry, I’m hungry…”. They ignored me, of course / : ). Even so, I actually enjoyed it. I bought a pair of shampoo and conditioner in Hair Store, and some stuffs like discounted orange roll cake or pomelo.
When I got to Full House, it felt like I could be put anywhere and I wouldn’t even bother. 2 days straight of just walking and shopping – more than enough, I would say.
On Saturday, I went to sauna again at Full House. Later that day, I managed to bring lots of my belongings back home from there.
On Sunday, I put together the clothes rail from pieces. It was more difficult than last time with the shoe rack, so I was even more proud of myself this time. Doing things by myself is also one kind of happiness.
It was snowing beautifully at some point, so Na and I went downstairs to watch. The guys teased us about it, talked about how ordinary snow is, about how long we have been here and how it could be so that we haven’t got bored of it. We went anyway. Because it was so beautiful, Na wanted to take pictures. I called Lam to ask him to bring me my camera downstairs. Neither Na nor I thought anything special, Lam could just come down and give us the camera. But it took Lam abnormally long. It turned out that not only Lam but Phat and Dean also came. Dean even brought Yrsa together with him. That was fun!
Today, I gave myself lots of food. For lunch, I had grilled chicken (gà nướng) and fried chayote (su su xào). Dessert was half of the pamelo. For dinner, I had bacon wrapped asparagus, salad (shrimp + cucumber + tomato), and dessert was a mandarin. Rice came together with both meals. I also had yogurt and milk.
In the afternoon, I went to the supermarket. Na went already but she went with me anyway, and Phat was dragged along :”). In Lidl, Na bought a box of acrylic paint. Phat was wondering whether he should buy a pair of shoes. I prefer another pair which is specified “talvikengät” (winter shoes) and it’s not much more expensive than the one he had his eyes at. In the end, he didn’t buy any. But honestly, I think he will look good in both. Phat then went back first, and Na came with me to S. We talked a little bit. Just things. Just people. I can never hide myself.
I got home and talked to Hang. She helped me a lot with my mood. She’s like a happy pill. Whenever I talk to her, I’m full of life and all smiley again. Together with listening to new album of IU and Pledis family, I’m so high high up ~
So now, I’m going to sleep, and tomorrow will be another beautiful day!