Learn.

*taken by Na

It has been cold for a couple of days. We have a bit of proper snow now, which makes the streets sparkle at night and my heart smile of joy. Dean has been waiting for the ice-skating ring to be prepared. Na has been mentioning repeatedly with excitement about the idea of going to the island in the middle of the lake (we look forward to the day when we are able to walk firmly on the frozen surface). They don’t seem to be afraid of the cold, which is a good thing, of course.

Doina told me about her watching Dream High yesterday. She said she really liked it. I can’t help but smile when I saw her text messages. Dream High definitely has special power.

Mi confessed she “got addicted” to my flickr, and she wanted to save some photos to set as her desktop. It was such a sweet thing to hear.

We were back to school today. It was the first time I was in Anna-Leena’s class. She seemed nice.

When Dean, Na, and I were preparing to go home, we met with Dawn and Brian. They are absolutely adorable teachers. Looking at them talking to each other is quite entertaining.

– You don’t want to see me until next week, do you?

– Well, you know, I have a little Christmas something for you.

– Okay, let’s have some coffee.

I have been confused and uncertain though. It’s not like I’ve been clear about anything, but it’s just got pretty foggy in my head recently. I guess my mind is trying to erase the hurting parts that still remains in me. I often see myself thinking “Don’t follow that string of thoughts. Don’t go into details”. And I’m there, in the fog. Blankly.

Day after day, I learn to live. So when I was said to be putting myself above other people, when I was reminded about the fact I’m living alone, I could feel the tears in my eyes. Suddenly I felt pity for myself, for all the effort of trying to be happy and kind with other people and with myself, which then seemed to be totally worthless. But I suppose I will still continue giving out more than expecting to receive back, looking at the bright side of everyone, and believe in it. I may be clumsy and awkward, but my heart will stay kind.

Thank you for making me more tired because of laughing so hard. Let’s enjoy the moment, shall we?

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