Insecure… not.

It happens to me recently that… I love my body.

I have always been insecure about myself. The most noticeable thing is I’m pretty slim. People often offer me some of their weights : D which I would happily accept if I could. It’s unfortunately impossible. It seems my metabolism is not good. No matter how much I try, I’ve never reached 47kg (my weight moves around 45kg, usually less). Furthermore, I have stomachache, which doesn’t help me in taking in more food.

It’s as if I’ve been struggling with gaining more weights my whole life (or maybe most of my life, because my family said I was chubby as a child). I think it might have something to do with me going to the hospital (sometimes in emergency) every year for the last 5 or 6 years. I’m physically weak for as far as I can remember.

However, these days, I find myself loving the way I look like. I’m not quite sure about the reasons (probably why hate instead of love since I’m not able to change it and I’m with it every single moment of my life anyway, or it’s the result of practicing dance for a while, or it’s IU’s effect, or because people have been telling me I’m pretty, or the dress I’ve received fits me so well, etc.), I find myself to appear… appealing.

I told Doina I think I’m just ok-looking, not even to the point of good-looking. This point doesn’t change. It just feels better that, even with that fact, I start loving myself more. It has nothing to do with how people see me because that doesn’t change either. It’s just me finding some peace for myself, giving myself the love at least it should have received even if (in case) nobody else is going to give out.

And of course, I will continue improving my health. A healthy body comes with a healthy mind.

^^

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