Show up.


I was tired because the flu didn’t go away completely, and I cried a bit too much but still couldn’t sleep at night nor in the morning. My mood was pretty low. I was all the time thinking about curling up in bed, reading a book, and listening to music. But I showed up in the class anyway, stayed there from the beginning to the end. I think Sofia was trying to talk to me to help me lifting up the mood. It wasn’t very successful but I’m thankful for that.

I felt much better from afternoon coffee onward. I was sitting with Katariina and then at another table with Kasia, Mike from Swedish class, and Fredrik. Then I went with Kasia to the small K-market near the school. I went for a walk already in the morning before breakfast, but I like being with Kasia so I didn’t mind going out again. It was pleasurable although the weather didn’t cooperate at all. The dinner was nice also, and it was extremely hilarious when “He’s okay, you just need to understand him better.” was misunderstood to “He’s gay, you just need to understand him better.”!

In the end, it wasn’t bad. I had time for myself (being at the wide ledge again – listening to music, singing along once in a while, reading a book, closing my eyes when I wanted to feel the music only, practicing piano for about an hour in the library, and doing what I wanted to do in the morning but didn’t) as well as being warmly surrounded by people. They didn’t need to know my problems to make me feel better, they could just be themselves and that was enough.

*Title comes from number 40 in this. “No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.”


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