My mood has gotten so bad I don’t even want to try to cope up with people anymore. Trying to understand and appreciate them takes up a whole lot of energy, yet it’s not worth it in most cases. There are three people I’m comfortable to be with and spend time with here now and it’s okay, I don’t see the need to appear as a nice person to everyone. Even if I want to be nicer to everyone especially those who are lonely I noticed, I’m sorry but I’m not up to it.

I’m surprised how badly affected I am by this whole thing which shouldn’t even be considered as anything happened. To think I’m in the process of recovering from it is kind of weird, but it’s actually what I’m doing. Otherwise, my mind could turn out to be so worked up that I might bring some physical sickness upon myself. The previous mental breakdown wasn’t far back.

I really need to concentrate on what makes me happy and what’s my goal now.

But I have to, I guess.

But I have to, I guess.


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