Since it is laskiastiistai (Shrove Tuesday), we had pea soup and pancake for lunch. I met Heidi – Katariina’s partner – and I liked her immediately. She seems to be a really kind person. After that, we went sledding which was led by Sari and Nick. It was really fun although all what I did was watching and taking a couple of photos. I guess it must be because I was mostly with Kasia and Katariina, and additionally with Oanh and Quan. I talked a little bit to Aryan, too; she was nice. And a little bit to a man and a woman who talked to Sari; they were friendly. I wasn’t with anyone I wasn’t comfortable with, and I didn’t pay much attention to anything else other than being with my friends and watching them sledding down the hill. They all seemed to have fun. They smiled a lot, screamed a lot : D. “It was fun until it wasn’t anymore” – Kasia. Both Kasia and Katariina were soaked wet. My hands started getting frozen. Glögi (I think it’s glögi…) from Nick came on time to save us, but we decided to get back anyway. We were warmed up cozy and nice for a while in Kasia’s room before heading to coffee afternoon. We had laskiaispulla (shrove buns) there, which was delicious. Then Katariina and Heidi gave Kasia and I a ride to the center. Kasia got chocolates and candies (star candies!) and cash, and I got crab sticks and Strepsils. We sat with Ina at dinner and it was pleasant, too. She’s such a sweet girl.
I thought back about my last sledding and how different it was this time. The second time sledding, it was as if Doina was the only person by my side. I wanted things to be good, I tried hard for it, but I guess it couldn’t be if it wasn’t meant to. Little by little, the things I did with them, I now do with other people, too. Every experience is different and I have a certain happiness each time, but this time I didn’t have with me the sadness and pressure which was so heavy in my heart back then.
Do I know better today than yesterday? I don’t know. It doesn’t mean much of anything if it was just me yearning for it. Still, I can’t let go of it just yet. Will I, on time?