*”I’m never as alone as I make myself out to be.”

So now I know I’m sick for real. I don’t have a fever, but I have a sore throat, a sometimes-blocking-sometimes-runny nose, a dizzy head, and a tired body. I didn’t do much of anything today other than lying on the warm and comfy bed the whole time. It was best before lunch when I was listening to music also. Later on I was just lying in silence, and it didn’t feel as good as before.

It was very nice of Katariina when she came visit me during her break in the morning. We had a nice chat in my room as well after the general info session at the auditorium. Then I went for a walk with Kasia to get some fresh air. At the end, I really felt that I love this place a lot, and I love how three of us were brought miraculously together. They have become so dear to me in such a short period of time. For this chance to meet and know them, I’m truly blessed.

What else made me happy today? Of course it was another hug with “Chi, you are the best!”, and a simple sentence of “He looked at you” which was informed delightedly to me by both of them. Boosted up my mood and energy instantly.

And there’s this quote I found on tumblr that I like a lot because of how much it fits me now:

❝I was on the phone with appa this afternoon and I began to cry because I didn’t understand how people could go on living and loving one another without letting the person know. I think about this so often — what Neruda has called an insurmountable solitude. The loneliness, this loneliness doesn’t have to be. Our lives are solitude in flesh but we mingle in touch and gaze and love for one another. I think about this so often — whether the people I care about in this small planet know exactly how much I care about them, as if things like that are quantifiable, as if you can love someone enough to fill a room full of measuring cups. Looking at a photograph of a woman beside a whale, I told a boy that I wanted to live in a world where everything was measured beside whales. I am one fourths the height of a whale. I love you the weight of three humpbacks. If you appreciate someone, you should let them know. There are so many people who know loneliness too well. We’ve grown too fond of this melancholy, this sadness. We’ve rendered ourselves incurable of it. And in many ways, it’s true. But the smallest gestures, the littlest brushes and whispers of care, of concern — aren’t those what bring us all back? In the first month of school I was sadder than I have been in a while, and on the tenth floor in a dorm room with loud music and not enough alcohol in my system and my head a swarming beehive of honeyed sadness, Diana touched my shoulder and looked at me and asked me quietly, Are you okay, bunny? And that night I went home and cried because I finally understood how I’m never as alone as I make myself out to be.❞ (known from sueryu)

: )

Lovin' the iPod Touch that Kasia gave me.

Lovin’ the iPod Touch that Kasia gave me.


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