Attached to life.

It’s Sunday but no one is going back for school tomorrow. It feels like Christmas holiday again, with a bit more loneliness. Not because of the flu that makes me crave for my family’s warm care in occasions like this, but because I’ve grown so fond of seeing this one person who I usually get to see starting from Mondays. Not tomorrow though.

I think about him all the time. Sometimes it’s funny when the memory goes with how Kasia and Katariina have been involving in this together with me. Sometimes it’s interesting to think of the rare moments when I was with him or saw him without knowing he could become so important (the BBQ, the laundry room, the ghost house rooftop). Most importantly, sometimes the thought about him pulls me out of other people’s worlds. It’s so easy to absorb all the emotions. It’s overwhelming and hard to deal with. He keeps me attached to this place, this world, my little world. The thought about him could always bring me back. When I think about him, it feels like I exist, right where I’m supposed to be.

Maybe I will end up crying a lot for this person who doesn’t even try. Well, I actually already did. But I don’t want to give up on him. Not yet, at least. What can I do when he’s the only person I’m interested in now, not anyone else? And especially when he’s… like home…

Quan got the chapstick from the snow sculpture festival and he agreed to give it to me because it's green. Raasepori... Will fate let me belong to this place?

Quan got the chapstick from the snow sculpture festival and he agreed to give it to me because it’s green. Raasepori… Will fate let me belong to this place?

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