The best possible self.

. It was a pleasant surprise yesterday when I saw Louis putting my blog link to his facebook, saying it’s one of his favorite places on the Internet. I thanked him. This morning, I woke up to his reply which melted my heart and made my day. I was thankful beyond words.

The Best Possible Self

. Since Maija was sick, our class and Alkeissuomi were merged to study together with Anna. We were then divided to small groups to practice speaking. I hadn’t been speaking much in Finnish for the last two weeks (one flu week and one holiday week) except for the short conversations to order food, borrow books, pay at the supermarkets, etc. I did chat with Mikko in Finnish but the interaction didn’t have to flow continuously like speaking, and I used dictionary all the time, so it didn’t really count. Therefore, it was a bit difficult to pick it up again. It wasn’t so bad though. I managed okay. As long as I don’t try too hard to translate from English to Finnish, it seems to work out fine. It must also be because I liked my group which included Lyn, Victoria – a refined Russian woman, Erik, and I. Victoria and I were in a pair later on, and I liked to work with her, too.

I didn’t like the movie we watched in the afternoon though. I think I have the tendency to not like famous people’s lives in movies. The first time was about an American singer, the second time was about a Finnish writer, and now it was about a Finnish drummer/singer in a rock band. I don’t even try to remember their names. I just don’t get how they could live like that. I saw the reasons but I still couldn’t understand. They damaged their own lives, they screwed up, and they brought it upon other people. To some extent, it must be true that great art comes from vulnerable experiences. But can’t these artists make great art without destroying themselves and hurting people around them? I personally prefer artists who are good examples for their fans to follow.

. Talking about artist, I’m thinking about IU. She had just returned to perform on a big stage after a long and quiet period of time. I admire her so much. It’s always inspiring to see how much effort this young girl puts in everything she does and how brave she faces all the difficulties. She is the truest artist to me.

. I was still sad. Even so, I tried not to drown in it. I kind of accepted the situation now. Instead of struggling for something that makes me sad, I poured my energy to everything else. I tried to concentrate on being the best possible self. It wasn’t successful all the time, but I tried. This is more like me – being honest, smiley, and positive.

. Today continued the chain of sunshine. I went out for the second walk of the day at 4:15p.m when the sun was filling up my room with its a-bit-too-warm light through the windows. It made me underestimate the temperature and the cold made me a bit worried (I have no intention to catch a cold again so soon). However, the sky awarded me with its beauty of the vast blue above my head as I walked. At some point, I just stopped, stood still, looked up and watched the floating light clouds.

Then it was another beautiful sunset. I loved the rainbow-color gradient, especially the red which lined the horizon this time. It’s amazing how the bright orange red of the dawn turned to the light blue during the day and finally came to the bursting combination of colors at dusk.

. Let’s try to have enough sleep tonight.

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