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today I was reminded about my previous relationship

about how I cried and cried so much for such a long period of time

think back about it, although he was the one who tried to make me fall in love but had no intention to catch me, I was the one who knew he wasn’t Mr. Right all along but still stubbornly held onto it

it was the price for being greedy

it was as if I was a child being given a doll,  even if I knew it didn’t belong to me, I didn’t like it to be given to anyone else because it used to be in my hands.

we wasn’t compatible and we didn’t belong to each other, I just couldn’t accept the fact that he used to like me and wanted to show it to the world but it was way too short-lived. I couldn’t accept and therefore couldn’t move on. and he was warm. the warmest hands I ever held. not the warmest and kindest heart though.

if I were there again, there’s a high possibility it would still happen the way it was. I don’t think I could avoid my feelings. sometimes I still wonder what that pain taught me. it didn’t make sense back then, I was too sad to think properly. how is it now? could it be that maybe running a way would solve things if it has to be a way? because it did help. I ran away and I grew better. but again, not everything has to have a meaning. it could just be.

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