k-drama: twenty again.

twenty13-00468a

this drama has come to me at the right time and i’ve been loving it so much. thought about writing about it for a while but i knew it wasn’t going to be easy so i kept pushing back. after watching episode 13 today, i decided i shouldn’t delay it any longer.

i love the way Nora has been claiming back her identity. gradually she gets to remember how she used to shine so brightly, see things in people that others wouldn’t, trust and hope and inspire. of course it helps that she has Hyuksuk who never sees her otherwise, who was baffled at how she had been living her life but doesn’t lose faith and doesn’t give up on her.

in this episode, i love the way she refuses to get treated like a child since she is working real hard on her way to independence. we’ve shown enough of how much she’s grateful for all the things Hyuksuk does for her and reminds her of her true self, but she also doesn’t want to rely too much on anyone else now that she has just gotten out of a dependent life. it reminds me of myself now when i find it difficult to balance between being on my own and getting help from others.

it’s the same with how she handles the blame; she puts it where it is due, whether on herself or on somebody else. not exactly the same with my situation but it reminds me of what i do. recently i’ve been blaming myself a lot. but it doesn’t have to be like that, does it? maybe there’s nothing to blame on anyone at all. even if there is, “own it, fix it, move on” like Caroline said. why take it all on myself and keep dwelling on it? dear little Chi, please be kind to yourself.

there’s also the thing with how different her selfish husband Woochul and Hyunsuk treat Nora. not related to me, but it makes me think.

Nora to Woochul, “it was your back…. it was like seeing the back of my father.. i felt a feeling like you were a strong protector for me…. only back then.”

that’s that.

“only back then.”

that was the problem with us once, when we are teens, what we saw in a flash moment in someone, doesn’t last.
in fact we may mistaken what we saw as the Real Person in someone we thought we loved. even the feeling we felt once, when we said we can die for our College Senior, even this feeling of love is not love itself.

Nora paid for her fake imagination of being loved and being in love, as her love faded, but she holds on to Minsoo and still trying to like Woochul as a wife. i am pleased to realised finally she did not at all loved Woochul, and that is enough for me to know for this ep.

Nora, “the reason why I want a divorce is because I’ve discovered why I lost my former self, and became a clueless person. You made me that way….”

obviously, that treasure box help in founding her “self”.

just before this confrontation, Hyunsuk said that to her, “It was only you who saw that an odd, sensitive boy like me had talent…you believed in me, you were the only one who helped me become who I am today… you were the reason I kept going, because of you, I lived out my dream. Don’t forget who you were.”

even at that moment, it is still about Nora that Hyunsuk is concerned with, not about himself. Time that Nora realized, she was such an awesome person, not just a glittering dancer that “can talk with dance-moves”. Not many people can be blessed with such honour after 20 yrs to have someone come up and tell you, you are the one who inspired his success, not just before he loved you for 20 years, but because you are awesome, you have dreams, fighting spirit, you have once believe in him when everyone don’t. this was the confession that outshine the original “I love you” confession I have been waiting since ep 12 done. To have him saying all the cheesy “I love you” may be thrilling. But his selfless confession aim only for remind her to Wake up to Her-“Self” and live on by this remembrance, is so gratifying.

– Mary of Bethany @ dramabeans

*sigh*

what an awesome drama. i’m so glad it happens.

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