20150916

it’s September.

the weather has turned cold even with the sunshine. or it might be just me.

whatever the case, i’m glad to see the light before 7a.m.

Doina has gone for her business trip for two days.

we’ve talked a bit with the little chances we had.

it was nice.

i can never seem to get closer to people when i’m far away from them.

at least, not enough.

i’ve been trying to guard my tiny little heart.

apparently it has been quite strong, with all the things i’ve been putting it through.

“you’ve been working so hard. thank you.”

sometimes i would put my hand on it and whisper to it like that.

i don’t know what else to do.

i’ve been incredibly scared. and still keep getting hurt. what a talent i have here.

well, it’s not anyone’s fault. and in a way, i’m glad i experience all these.

maybe there will come a day when i don’t feel like this anymore.

not at this age anymore. and probably i will look back with a smile.

i hope.

my mood hasn’t allowed me to write a lot at this place.

can’t promise anything with this, even to myself.

i’ll just put this here, since this song has been like my theme song ever since its release in August.

going though three different situations, and it still applies. how amazing is that.

❝Let’s not make a promise, We don’t know about tomorrow.
But I really mean this, I like you.❞

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Big Bang is back!

M[ADE]

M[ADE]

So finally, Big Bang is back! I don’t follow them closely (the only artist I follow closely is IU) but I do know that YG has this reputation of using a clock which doesn’t go according to Earth hour, meaning that Yang Hyun Suk (YG’s CEO) postpones the releases of his artists perpetually. I personally don’t mind because once he allows something to be released, it will be of top quality. He’s a perfectionist, I suppose. YG’s fans are frustrated though, which is understandable when you don’t know how your favorite artists are doing, when you’re going to meet them again, and you want new music from them. Imagine picking up the hints of them coming back, then be disappointed, over and over. And imagine, for example, you graduate from college, have a job, get married, have a baby, while still listening to Big Bang’s “latest release” ‘Fantastic Baby’. It must feel long and frustrating. In any case, now the boys are back for real. They will release new song(s) each month from now and have the full album release in September, if I remember correctly. Interesting way to keep them on top of the charts for months.

Big Bang let their fans (VIPs) listen to the new songs first before the actual release, and I saw the netizens mentioned most positively about ‘Loser’. When I first watched the MV, it reminded me a bit of their Still Alive era, particularly ‘Blue’ and ‘Monster’. Still Alive was my favorite album from them and still is, so it’s hard to beat. From first time watching and listening, ‘Loser’ didn’t quite impress me. I know it has all sort of deeper meaning to it as typical to Big Bang’s MVs (and maybe YG’s MVs in general), it’s just not my cup of tea. Even much less so with their second MV – Bae Bae.

It’s Big Bang though, I don’t give up on their music. I kept listening to their audio and gradually I grew more and more fond of ‘Loser’. It still has the Still Alive aura, but at the same time has its own distinct colors too. I also give credits to the headphones and the night, since apparently it doesn’t feel the same when I listen to it again the next day with my laptop speaker. It just can’t compare. Listening to it during the day with headphones still works, but without the headphones it’s just meh. I need to hear all the background instruments, beautiful harmony, and each member’s voice. If I can’t hear them, it doesn’t feel complete. Headphones make the music much smoother, give the experience much more pleasurable, and I feel deeper too. Times like this I also miss my separate set of speakers. I got it cheap at the time I bought, and it gave the most wonderful sounds out of all the speakers I listened to. Too bad it got stolen.

I got too carried away ha ha. Anyway, I’m pretty much addicted to ‘Loser’ now. ‘Bae Bae’ I like the bridge part; it’s strange how the song turned from “hm…” to “wow, this sounds good” real quick, I didn’t even notice the transition when the song was flowing. Wonder how their other songs will be like. Pretty sure they will grab some awards at the year-end ceremonies.

Monster – Big Bang.

It’s been a while. Seems like you’re doing better since I’ve seen you last.
You got prettier too, though you always looked beautiful in my eyes
But you seem a little different today; you seem unusually cold
The gaze you put on me is full of pity
In front of you, I look small
I act like it’s fine, I try to change the subject.
I have a lot I want to ask, but you cut me off.
Your hair flows in the wind, and it hits me on my cheeks and leave.
You turn around and leave just like that,
Would I look silly if I try to hold you back?
I can’t think of anything to say.
Trembling, you take two steps back.
Your words that you are afraid of me
You are the one that makes me crazy
I love you, baby i’m not a monster
You know the old me
When the time passes, I will have to disappear
You’ll know then
I need you, baby i’m not a monster
You know me
It ends,
but if you leave me like this, I will die.
You say, let us be together forever no matter what happens.
You say, let us be together when we’re happy and when we’re sad.
You don’t (won’t) say that tomorrow..
I say, let’s love today as if it’s the last day.
Yo, the world without you is like a capital punishment
The world doesn’t go correctly without you
Your existence has become an incurable illness for me
Everyone may look at me with judging eyes,
but what really hurts is the fact that you have become a part of that ‘everyone’.
I love you, baby i’m not a monster
You know the old me
When the time passes, I will have to disappear
You’ll know then
I need you, baby i’m not a monster
You know me
It ends,
but if you leave me like this, I will die.
Don’t go, Don’t go, Don’t go, Don’t leave me
Don’t do this, Don’t do this, Don’t do this, You don’t seem to be yourself
Still far apart, With love still divided
Don’t look for me, Don’t look for me, Don’t look for me, Don’t look for me
Don’t do this, Don’t do this, Don’t do this,
Please remember the me that stood next to you
Please don’t ever forget me
I love you, baby i’m not a monster
You know the old me
When the time passes, I will have to disappear
You’ll know then baby
I need you, baby i’m not a monster
You know me
It ends,
but if you leave me like this, I will die.
I’m not a monster.
I think I’m sick, I think I’m sick.
I think I’m sick, I think I’m sick.

Credits: BIGBANG@YouTube//Translated by toptopia@tmblr

Blue.

*The winter had passed
And the spring has come
We have withered
And our hearts are bruised from longing

**(I’m singing my blues)
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(I’m singing my blues)
The love that I have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh

Under the same sky, at different places
Because you and I are dangerous
I am leaving you
One letter difference from ‘nim’^
It’s cowardly but I’m hiding because I’m not good enough
Cruel breakup is like the end of the road of love
No words can comfort me
Perhaps my lifetime’s last melodrama
Now its final curtain is coming down

I was born and I met you
And I have loved you to death
My cold heart that has been dyed blue
Even with my eyes closed, I can’t feel you

*Repeat

**Repeat

I feel like my heart has stopped beating
You and I, frozen there, after a war
Trauma, that has been carved in my head
Once these tears dry up, I will moistly remember my love
I’m neither painful nor lonely
Happiness is all self-talk
I can’t stand something more complicated
It’s no big deal, I don’t care
Inevitable wandering, people come and go

I was born and I met you
And I have loved you to death
My cold heart that has been dyed blue
Even if you have left, I’m still here

*Repeat

Again tonight, underneath that blue moonlight
I will probably fall asleep alone
Even in my dreams, I look for you
And wander around while singing this song

**Repeat (X2)

^ “nim” means “my special one” while with one letter difference, “nam” means “stranger”

 

 

 

*Lyrics translation from pop!gasa.

*This post is for 23 Feb.