love exists

❝ Love exists but with an absence of eternity.

At the first moment of a lover’s encounter, there’s an affirmation of love;





(and) delusion that the moment will last forever.

I’m ceased by desire.

I hide behind my back…

and postpone all answers. ❞


f(x) (에프엑스) – Dracula



I usually group the ‘scary’ stuff into one category. Once in a while, I would peek at them and depending on their ‘scary level’, I could actually like it. ‘‘ is clearly an example of this. It’s only mildly scary and I find it interesting. Before this song came out, there is another one that reminds me of Halloween (not originally related (right?), but, you know, one ‘scary group’) – ‘Dracula’ by f(x). Thought about Halloween from the first time listening.

‘Dracula’ is a song from f(x)’s most recent full-album ‘Red Light‘. Don’t remember exactly but I think I’ve never particularly mentioned that ‘Red Light’ is one of my favorites albums this year, and ‘Dracula’ is one of the most notable songs from it. The “turututututu la-la-la-la” part reminds me of another song from f(x) that I couldn’t put my finger on it so it made me a bit uncomfortable (not to mention I thought it was “check it out” and then realized it was “Dracula” when I read the lyrics…), but the song overall has good rhythm and I like it as a whole. Not sure if it’s because it’s in English and consequently sticks to my head better, but I especially love the “Hold me, trust me, hold my hand. Look at me, love me, I’ll protect you” part. It sounds beautiful in every way possible.

The more I talk about it the more this song feels like not related to Halloween at all… But well, let’s just listen to the screaming and the song and just for today, pretend that it is. Trick or treat? It’s a treat.



. When it was way past midnight yesterday, I continued reading Looking for Alaska and listened to Pure Heroine album by Lorde with headphones on (I’ve listened to this album a lot these days but I think I’ve never mentioned it?). It was a pure pleasure. Pleasant, comforting, made me laugh, made me smile, made me filled with gentleness.

“Jesus, I’m not going to be one of those people who sits around talking about what they’re gonna do. I’m just going to do it. Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia.”
“Huh?” I asked.
“You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”

. IU attended MelOn Music Awards, so naturally I went to watch it live on YouTube. She wore a black dress and received a rose from a fan which was so cute. It matched and complimented her outfit so well. She looked pretty and more lady-like than before. Then she changed to a red dress to receive an award, and then she changed to a pair of shoes that shined when she performed The Red Shoes (I’ve come to like this song a lot after listening to it again and again for the last couple of weeks. No wonder why they chose it as the title song after such a long time preparing for the release of the album – it’s catchy enough to perform on stage and to grab people to back to listen to it. And no wonder why it stays in the top list of songs that are sung at karaoke).

f(x) also won an award. Only Luna attended the event, but Luna is my favorite member so it was enough for me. :3

SHINee and EXO dominated the stage. I like both groups. Don’t remember from when it started with SHINee… but EXO was recent. Initially I didn’t like how SM Ent. treated EXO and f(x) so unfairly (these two groups have their comebacks at the same time, and EXO had much stronger promotion for their album than f(x)), but these boys are cute (from some MVs they featured in and last week’s episode of Running Man) so I gradually like them now. Kai looks a bit like Taemin and another boy looks a bit like Siwon, but well… Happy for them.

. My love with Korean dramas is not as blooming as with K-pop. 4 dramas I’m watching now all have the main actress acting like fools. Every time I watch, they make me constantly think “Please have some sense”, which is annoying and frustrating. I don’t know why I keep watching and torturing myself like this. I guess I’ve been trying too hard to look for a drama that touched me like Nice Guy did, but it was one of a kind. Maybe I should stop all these. Not worth it anyway.

. Waking up to a kind-of clean and organized apartment, looking at these cute slippers near the bed in the light of the day suddenly made me want to take photo of them.


Bought from H&M very long ago. Does it look like Nordic pattern?


. f(x)’s Pink Tape album when I need energy, Touch Love by Yoon Mi Rae when I miss it, and IU’s Modern Times when I just want to listen to music and heal the soul. I’m glad I have them with me these days.

. I call it the “accompany window”. When all other windows are with the closed blind or simply with no light, that one is wide open with the view and is filled with warm light just like mine.

. The guy with the hot pink crocs doesn’t wear crocs anymore. Maybe it’s now too cold for that. What a pity. : p

. I knew Im Soo Jeong models for SK-II (for about 5 or 6 years already?), but I didn’t know it was such an expensive brand! Today I watched Jen’s newest video in which she mentioned about SK-II products, so I went to the links she provided to check, out of curiosity since two persons I like have something to do with it. Only then I knew its price range… Then I decided, I think I better keep with my low-price products and try to eat and drink to help with that, than spending money on expensive cosmetics. Definitely not now.

. I think Oanh and Khoa will get me Oh Comely one-year subscription for my birthday this year! How can I express how happy I am now… Oh my oh my oh my… Maybe I won’t be able to sleep tonight!!


The class today concentrated on grammar exercise, so I had chance to practice it. I asked Mikko many times to confirm, most of them were correct, so at one point he told me to have some confidence in myself : D. It was not the first time somebody told me that. I might be doing well but it never seems to be certain for me. Maybe I should just practice more and more and more, until at some point I myself can also see that without confirmation from other people.

I was in a group of 4. Van and Khoi I knew from the previous class, and there was another Vietnamese girl who I still don’t know the name. It was nice to talk and smile naturally without the feeling of “I need to be friendly and smiley”. I guess it was the natural effect of being surrounded by people from the same culture. It felt easy and comforting. Van and Khoi later on added my facebook. Probably it wasn’t too bad of a choice to go back there.

On the way back home, I smiled at some old women. They walked very slowly with the help of the sticks. I looked at them and smiled. They seemed to be surprised, and then they smiled back. I hope they were happy.

I also talked a little bit with my neighbor right outside our building. Only after that I realized I spoke quite fluently, although it might not be the usual spoken language. But hey, I used the language! : D

I met Nhung online so we chatted a little bit. Then I continued with drawing, according to the instruction from the book You Can Draw in 30 Days – the first step from this article. The project requires 20 minutes per day – doable. I don’t intend to get a job as a designer, but I definitely want to learn Graphic Design. Actually, at some point I was quite interested in Interior Design, but it seems to involve quite a lot of mathematics (I have serious doubt of myself on this subject), and I don’t seem to like it that much, so I decided to put it aside. Graphic Design is a different thing. I’m also learning a bit more coding afterwards. Enjoying those things.

There's the avocado I based on to draw (unrecognizable on the paper I drew, of course...) and the cactus pot I used to get the circle. : p

There’s the avocado I based on to draw (unrecognizable on the paper I drew, of course…) and the cactus pot I used to get the circle. : p

Yesterday I downloaded album First Love by F-ve Dolls. Coincident or not, I also liked album of the same name – First Love, by After School not long ago. I don’t like them as much as Pink Tape by f(x) (I listened to this one nearly 100 times already! Within only about a month and a week!), but they all are the albums I constantly reach out to now (in fact, listening to them right now while typing this blog post, and moving and singing along ~). I like 3 albums this year, so many! It never happened before! Wonder how I will like IU’s upcoming album. It for sure won’t have the mystery theme like “Last Fantasy”, and I’m not very convinced with her blonde hair, but let’s see. And today is her 5th anniversary since debut! Hope she had a nice day.

Okay, that’s it. Let’s do more useful things tomorrow.