thought about this today…

#self-reminder

❝ Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky. ❞

— Rainer Maria Rilke

❝ This fear of transparency. “Please look inside me” is followed by “please go away.” ❞
— Bob Hicok

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. “Have courage, and be kind. Where there is kindness, there is goodness. And where there is goodness, there is magic.” (x)

. #nostalgic #lostthenfound ༼☯﹏☯༽

. “how to know if they like you by Myers Briggs: INFJ~ You don’t know and never will” (x) ahahahaha lol no it would be quite obvious actually.

14.11.2013.

. When it was way past midnight yesterday, I continued reading Looking for Alaska and listened to Pure Heroine album by Lorde with headphones on (I’ve listened to this album a lot these days but I think I’ve never mentioned it?). It was a pure pleasure. Pleasant, comforting, made me laugh, made me smile, made me filled with gentleness.

“Jesus, I’m not going to be one of those people who sits around talking about what they’re gonna do. I’m just going to do it. Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia.”
“Huh?” I asked.
“You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”

. IU attended MelOn Music Awards, so naturally I went to watch it live on YouTube. She wore a black dress and received a rose from a fan which was so cute. It matched and complimented her outfit so well. She looked pretty and more lady-like than before. Then she changed to a red dress to receive an award, and then she changed to a pair of shoes that shined when she performed The Red Shoes (I’ve come to like this song a lot after listening to it again and again for the last couple of weeks. No wonder why they chose it as the title song after such a long time preparing for the release of the album – it’s catchy enough to perform on stage and to grab people to back to listen to it. And no wonder why it stays in the top list of songs that are sung at karaoke).

f(x) also won an award. Only Luna attended the event, but Luna is my favorite member so it was enough for me. :3

SHINee and EXO dominated the stage. I like both groups. Don’t remember from when it started with SHINee… but EXO was recent. Initially I didn’t like how SM Ent. treated EXO and f(x) so unfairly (these two groups have their comebacks at the same time, and EXO had much stronger promotion for their album than f(x)), but these boys are cute (from some MVs they featured in and last week’s episode of Running Man) so I gradually like them now. Kai looks a bit like Taemin and another boy looks a bit like Siwon, but well… Happy for them.

. My love with Korean dramas is not as blooming as with K-pop. 4 dramas I’m watching now all have the main actress acting like fools. Every time I watch, they make me constantly think “Please have some sense”, which is annoying and frustrating. I don’t know why I keep watching and torturing myself like this. I guess I’ve been trying too hard to look for a drama that touched me like Nice Guy did, but it was one of a kind. Maybe I should stop all these. Not worth it anyway.

. Waking up to a kind-of clean and organized apartment, looking at these cute slippers near the bed in the light of the day suddenly made me want to take photo of them.

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Bought from H&M very long ago. Does it look like Nordic pattern?

“I’m so happy today”.

I was happy today. These lines from American Beauty certainly came at the right time:

it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life

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Comfort from the past.

I don’t like the fabric conditioner I’m using at the moment. In an attempt of trying a new one, I accidentally bought one that has the smell of the person I used to be crazy about but don’t ever want to meet again this whole life. I dislike it so much I usually leave my clothes in the drying room so the smell can fade and it won’t be my room’s smell.

Then today after sauna, I used my towel to wipe my face. The feeling of burying my face deep into the towel and snuggling in it together with that smell suddenly brought me the comfort when I hugged that person. It wasn’t about the person, not at all. I just liked that feeling of comfort so much. I was consoled, I was at ease.

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And finally today I think I understand this quote: “You cannot save people, you can only love them.” (Anaïs Nin)

*”Someone will answer you”.

Khoa told us about the news of a study “Tall and beautiful women earn more” so we discussed it in class. Although I don’t consider myself to be in the category which I feel like being treated unfairly because of my appearance, it’s still quite sad.

Rolken came back to Lärkkulla in the evening and she will stay until tomorrow. It’s great to meet and talk to her again. And hugs, of course. ❤

I found a better version of the Eng sub for All About My Wife, so I watched it again. Liked it just like the first time.

I liked Im Soo Jeong’s hugs with the main actor in this movie. It always felt warm and full of grace. She was adorable, too, especially at the dancing part.

I will go to sleep early today. Feeling comfortable.

 

*Quote from All About My Wife.

❝No one ever truly knows another person. So keep talking to them.

Just keep talking. Someone will answer you.❞

“Be gentle to yourself”…

So another week passed by in a blink of an eye. I was busy the whole week, and was all the time feeling sleepy. I know I should utilize my time a bit more efficiently, but then I will get even more stressed if I cannot meet the expectation I set for myself. This reminds me of my mentor. Although it was a short time, he taught me a lot. Some of his advice still fly around when I’m in sudden need of anything related to task/time management. I dig up the Getting Things Done folder in my first external hard drive some days ago. I suppose it is time to go through it again.

Other than feeling sleepy, I’m quite happy. Smile more. Be kind to others. Say thanks and sorry when needed. Eat a lot. No class skipping. Practice piano regularly. Exercise a bit every day. Cook for myself and enjoy it.

If there’s anything I should do now, I believe it’s to give myself a good sleep. : )

*”…be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars”… – Max Ehrmann