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last day of November.

read my old notes on facebook. busy, energetic, full of light. warm, and an inspiration for others.

remember yourself, Chi, don’t forget it.

“aurinko”.

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hiếm hoi có nắng và trời xanh.

hiếm hoi có nắng và trời xanh.

những ngày này chỉ muốn ngủ vùi, bao nhiêu cũng là không đủ.

thế nhưng thế giới đang chuyển động không ngừng về phía trước, làm sao có thể ngưng tất cả để ngủ được đây.

mà thật ra là cũng khó ngủ, khi mà mọi thứ đều đang bất an thế này.

bụng đói lại càng không thể ngủ.

vậy nên mới ước có điều thần kỳ nào đó làm thời gian ngưng đọng, để mình ngủ thật lâu thật lâu, tỉnh dậy làm những điều cần làm (hay nói cách khác là bắt kịp tiến độ với người ta), chừng nào ổn cả thì thế giới lại tiếp tục cuồn cuồn trôi.

nhưng điều ước chỉ là điều ước.

thôi lại tiếp tục học tập Sakura, hè hè.

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in that foggy place...

in that foggy place…

. should believe “yes, i’m able to”. this is your own life. give it a chance. give yourself a chance.

. there are so many interesting people in this world. don’t lose hope.

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i was rather anxious today.

maybe i was overthinking again.

well, everyone said i would be able to do well, no matter what it is. not sure why i’m the only person who’s skeptical every single time.

thought about my graceful, calm, gentle, smart role models and whispered to myself, “you can do it, Chi. absolutely.”

thought about Card Captor Sakura episode the other day and what Kero said, “it wasn’t the card doing”, while the kids were having those cards which they thought were helping them achieving their goals. “believe you can and you’re half way there“, that’s it. have faith in yourself.

and remember to breathe.

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in the mailbox today:
cute mirror with embroidered back that i won from Oh Comely giveaway
and beautiful postcards that they kindly sent me extra.
◡‿◡✿

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. shallow sleep. weird dreams…

. after all these years, Card Captor Sakura still gives me lots of feels. friendship, family, innocent romance, courage, bravery,…

. i miss GPD. i miss working there with the people i met. Doina, Brown, Harri, Mikko,… the clients, the IT assist, even the salmon with orange sauce. it was Doina’s dream job back then. it is my dream job now.

. Nhung sent me a birthday postcard all the way from Vietnam again this year. made me happy.

our time in Finland is a strong bond. how precious.

♡

141124 #dream

Joo Won from Naeil’s Cantabile (?!?! i watched only 3 episodes of this drama a while ago when it first started, i didn’t even like his hair in it)

broke away from his wife (?!?!) who was a powerful person in the industry

carried the luggage up to the first floor of our family’s house

“don’t worry. my earning alone will be enough for us.”

held my hands

cup my face in his hands

a gentle kiss

i told my mom,

“i don’t need much. just a job with decent income. and this happiness.”

“all right.”

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. in the dream last night, i tried to take a picture of the blue sky with pink clouds from the sunset. at a balcony of a tall building, there were my grandmother and my family. what happened before that was kind of scary, but somehow i was only stressed, or rather uncomfortable, without being afraid. it felt okay when i woke up.

. physically however, i didn’t feel very well. i thought of canceling the plan but then i tried to ignore the thought and pushed forward. it ended up very nice. Antti paid for my hot chocolate with cream, and the extra ‘belated birthday gift’ was a soy sauce bottle which i was hesitated of buying. not that i’m extremely fond of food as gifts, but it’s practical and all the more so now that my budget is limited. the hot chocolate with cream was as yum as the one in Wayne’s. Antti asked if i wanted the bigger soy sauce bottle, and i said no. last time i bought the bigger one and when it reached toward the end, it wasn’t as good as at the beginning. it was nice of him to ask though.

ヽ༼ ் ▽ ் ༽╯

ヽ༼ ் ▽ ் ༽╯

one important thing is that when i said my mind these days would be all about job and money, he coolly referred me to places to check and people to ask. no question, no judging, straight to the point, useful tips. i really appreciate that.

. there was this one person whom this quote is for:

“I could miss you, and that’s a liability.”

— Marty McConnell

it wasn’t going anywhere back then, would it be any different now? … i should invest my energy to something else, not over-think this.

. Song Jae Rim and Kim So Eun look so well together. when they look at each other, when their hands knit, my heart melts.

like many others, i also wish for them to become a couple in real life. but i mean, it’s still a show. i read a comment somewhere saying So Eun should stop playing hard to get, which i actually disagree. in my eyes, she responds well to Jae Rim’s cheesiness and overwhelming intimate actions. Jae Rim is passionate and attractive, but from the beginning, So Eun was already wondering whether he really liked her or it was just his nature. and again, it’s a show. if it were me, i would guard my heart, i wouldn’t want to fall for it. if So Eun fell for him for real and he was just being like that for the sake of the show, what would she be left with? i sincerely wish for them the best, but at the same time i need to keep ‘the show’ thought in mind. really, i hope Jae Rim is true for her.

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. i didn’t sleep very well yesterday…

. another rejection letter arrived. it was sadder than usual since it was a company i really liked. an international environment with a chance to improve Finnish, and my qualifications seemed to fit well, so i thought i would be able to contribute to the team… but well, if they thought we wouldn’t be a good match, what can i do :)

i also created an account on Elance. if offline doesn’t work out, let’s see if online does. clearly from the first glance, there are companies i want to apply to and some don’t appear very professional or trustworthy. it usually seems that companies have the upper hands, but i think it should be both ways. only when the company is worth working for, the employees would perform their best.

. unexpectedly, the snow was falling, quietly… it was the end for a chain of gloomy days – no sunshine, no snow, just a heavy layer of gray cloud. gradually i realized why people said November is the gloomiest month of the year. it’s okay. i still love you, dear.

♡